In our daily conversations and in our thoughts we seem to have a habit of focusing on what we don’t want in our lives. Can you see that for yourself? We say “I don’t want to work overtime”, “I don’t want my trip to be expensive” or “I don’t want my children to moan about doing the dishes”.

The challenge when we focus on what we don’t want, is that we attract what we focus on and give our attention to. It is important to know in this respect, that our brain doesn’t register the “don’t” in the sentence. So if you say “I don’t want it to be expensive” your brain registers “expensive”…! I learned this from Michael Losier and from the Law of Attraction Center. Some funny examples for this: try saying to your dog “you are not getting a treat”…. Or: “we are not going to the park”…. Same goes for human beings. Say to your small child “You are not getting an ice cream…”. It will start smiling straight away as it expects to get an ice cream! So focusing on what you don’t want gives you exactly that what you don’t want!

So instead of focusing on what you DON’T want, the suggestion is to focus on what you DO want. So every time you catch yourself saying “don’t want” or “don’t like”, replace it with the following:

“So what DO I want?”

For instance if you say “I don’t want my trip to be expensive” replace it with “I want my trip to be affordable”. This also goes for instructions you give. Telling your children “Don’t run in the house” makes them run even more ! Now that I am fully aware of this, I am amazed how many instructions you read are focused on what you can’t do. For instance “Don’t use this door” or “Don’t eat inside”. A more effective would be to say “Use the other door” or “Eat outside”. Tell your children “Walk slowly in the house” or “Keep your voice down, please”. This way, you focus on what you Do want, and you will attract it into your reality!

Have a powerful week!

Linda Boertjens

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